Two Sides, But Only One Response

So I have this friend with a pretty rough marriage. They are both friends of mine, husband and wife, even before they were wed. I run into the husband at work and he confides in me every so often. We go way back, to our college days. He tells me what his wife has said or done, how frustrated he is with her about this or that. I listen, nod, try not to judge. Later I run into the wife at the grocery store. We go way back, to our college days. She confides in me and tells me things aren't going so well at home. She tells me how disappointed she is; she tells me what her husband has said or done, or not done. I listen and nod and commiserate appropriately, but don't say too much.
A few days later, I run into a friend of the husband in the library. We talk of our mutual friend, and he mentions their troubles. He says he can't believe how the wife can act like that, how she can say those things. He thinks the wife is sick, or evil.
Later that same week, I run into an old friend of the wife, the maid of honor from their wedding. We talk of our mutual friends, this couple, and how things aren't going so well for them lately. She comments on the husband, how he could do all those things he did; how he could act the way he does and not even care. It is so sad, we both agree.
There are two sides, or probably many more, to every story. Is she mad? Is he unfaithful? Did she say that, unprovoked? Did he mean that? Is one of them more wrong than the other? Does Christ love either of them less?
I think she is mad, at her wit's end, stretched to the limit. She does tend to run over at the mouth and she says what's on her mind, even when she shouldn't. And he was unfaithful, and unthoughtful, and even irresponsible. Frankly, they're both sort of jerks, now that I think about it. But then again, who isn't? Does Christ love jerks? Or does he just love American soldiers?
The part that hurts is when outsiders think they have someone else all figured out, all critiqued and packaged off for hell, or heaven. Did the husband ever step back and take a look at himself and just say, "Hey, I can be a real asshole." Do you think the wife ever says to herself, "I should just shut up." Does Christ ever back off and take a good hard look at us and say, "I just don't feel like loving you anymore. You don't get it. I'm tired of trying to get through to you. You're on your own from now on."