Q: What's worse than finding a dead mouse in your basement?

A: Finding half a dead mouse.

I went down to the basement the other day to do some filing. I got down on the floor in front of the filing cabinet to sort some papers and noticed a strange little gray, flattened lump ending in a perfect question mark. Upon closer inspection, I found it was the back half of a dead mouse, flatter than a pancake. It was on the cement floor near the edge of our room sized rug and I figure it must have, at one point, been under it and gotten pounded down like a tough cut of beef.

I cannot explain where the front half went, but it was clean gone.